


Even if I'm broken?

by babykpats



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Bipolar Disorder, Bipolar Ian, Birthday Party, Birthday Sex, Blow Jobs, Declarations Of Love, Hospitalization, M/M, Mickey rides Ian, Minor Violence, Protective Mickey Milkovich, Texting, Violence, after 4x12
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-02
Updated: 2014-11-18
Packaged: 2018-02-19 14:51:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2392325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babykpats/pseuds/babykpats
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Happens after 4x12.</p><p>Mickey takes care of Ian as much as he can.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Mickey sat on the bed and looked at Ian, lying beside him.

Mickey sighed. He knew this was bound to happen again. So, Mickey did what he has been doing every night, when Ian was depressed, ever since they found out about Ian’s illness.

He started talking to Ian.

“Hey man. Tough day at work today. A couple assholes had the balls to complain to me about the prices. I mean fuck them! If they’re fucked up enough to need a hooker, then they don’t get to complain about my fucking prices.”

Mickey looked at Ian’s unmoving body. He sighed and ran his hand through Ian’s hair.

“I used to want to work in construction when I was younger, you know. Be an engineer or some shit. Me and my mom used to walk around the city. All the buildings looked so huge and I wanted to be able to make something like that. Something that everyone could see.”

“I told my mom that and she said I had to stay in school for that to happen so I did. I studied. But when she was gone, my dreams went with her.”

“After my mom went, all I wanted was to go through the fucking day without being pistol whipped.”

“But sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I wasn’t too chicken shit to go through high school, you know? Mom said I was a smart kid.”

“She used to help me study and do my projects and all that crap. Sometimes I wish that Terry was the one who had gone and not my mom. It just fucking hurts watching someone you love go away.”

Mickey leaned over and saw the same look that has been on Ian’s face all day.

Mickey sighed and leaned down to kiss his cheek. “I ain’t going anywhere, Firecrotch.”

Mickey laid down and went to sleep.

~

The next afternoon, Mickey got home to see Fiona sitting on the steps leading to their porch.

“The fuck are you doing here?”

“Hello to you too.” Fiona smirked. “Just wanted to see how Ian was.”

Mickey walked into the house with Fiona behind him and opened the door to his room. Ian was in the same exact position he left him in earlier this morning.

“Knock yourself out. Let me know when you’re done.” Mickey sat down on the couch in their living room.

“Hey, Mickey. Thanks.”

“What the fuck you thanking me for? He looks like shit.”

“Yeah well, thanks for watching over him anyway.”

Mickey just grunted.

Fiona closed the door and Mickey just stared blankly at their TV.

After an hour, he heard his door open and Fiona stepped out.

Mickey immediately stood up. “He say anything to you?”

Fiona shook her head.

“Fuck.”

“Maybe tomorrow.” Fiona hugged Mickey and left the house.

Mickey walked into their bedroom.

“Your sister gave me a fucking hug man.” Mickey chuckled.

He made his way onto the bed and started talking to Ian again.

“She thanked me for watching over you. How the fuck can I not, right? You already left me once and it hurt like a bitch. I ain’t going through that again.”

“You know you’re the only person I ever kissed?”

“I don’t think I’ve ever told you that, Gallagher. Yeah. You’re the only one. All the girls I used to fuck were disgusting. I can’t even keep my dick up looking at them and having to kiss them would just be way too fucking gross.”

“But you, damn, guys are falling all over you. Can’t get their fucking hands off of you.”

Mickey’s chest suddenly tightened.

“Why’d you pick me, Gallagher? You literally coulda gotten anyone you wanted. Why the hell would you pick me?”

Mickey sighed to fill the silence.

“After all these years, you still do shit I don’t understand.”

Mickey leaned down to kiss Ian’s cheek. “But thanks for picking me, Firecrotch.”

Mickey settled back in and fell asleep.

~

The next afternoon, Mickey sat on his usual spot facing Ian.

The blanket was around Ian’s waist and Mickey was running his hand up and down Ian’s arm.

He looked at Ian’s face and tried imagining the smile he had whenever Mickey was trying to be stupid. He imagined the smirk that was there when Mickey was trying to get Ian to fuck him. He imagined the laughter, full and honest laughter, Ian had when he told Ian that he wasn’t gonna go around wearing a dress.

Mickey’s eyes followed the hand that was stroking Ian’s arm.

He leaned down and inhaled Ian’s skin.

“I’ll never get tired of the way you smell, Firecrotch.” He kissed Ian’s skin and went to sleep.

~

The fourth afternoon, Mickey was sitting on the bed again.

The door opened and someone came into the room.

“Mickey?” Debbie came in with a plate of cupcakes.

“He can’t eat that.”

“It’s for you.” Debbie joined Ian and Mickey on the bed and set the plate on the bed. “How long will it be this time?”

Mickey grabbed a cupcake and took a bite. “I don’t know.”

Debbie started lightly poking Ian’s thigh through the blanket. “What did you like most about Ian?”

Mickey shrugged. “I liked that he couldn’t keep his fucking mouth shut. He’d always say something about everything.”

Debbie chuckled.

“You remind me a lot of him.”

“It’s the hair.” Debbie rolled her eyes.

Mickey shrugged and took another bite of the cupcake.

“Don’t you miss him?”

“Missing him won’t do either of us any good.”

“But do you?”

“Fuck yeah.”

“Me too.”

They quietly ate the cupcakes and when it got too late, Mickey walked Debbie out the house.

“It’s getting dark. I can walk you back to your house.”

“I’m good. I have a pillowcase full of bars of soap. Besides, Ian might wake up.”

Mickey nodded and stayed outside until he couldn’t see Debbie anymore. Then he went back inside and settled beside Ian.

“I miss you, Firecrotch.”

He fell asleep inhaling Ian’s exhales.

~

The next day, Mickey was at the bar waiting for customers when Mandy came barging in.

“Mickey! It’s Ian.”

Mickey quickly got up ready to sprint the whole way to his house when he suddenly found his arms full of red hair and tears.

“Ian? Shit. Ian? You okay?”

Ian kept crying in his arms.

Mickey turned to Kev. “Kev I gotta go can you-”

“Yeah bud, I got this. Go take care of your man.” Kev waved him away.

“Gallagher, can you stand or something?”

Ian remained in the same position clinging to Mickey and crying.

“Fuck. Hold on.” Mickey picked Ian up in his arms and carried him out of the bar with Mandy following behind. The three of them found their way to the Gallagher house.

“Mickey? Is that Ian? Is he okay?” Fiona was suddenly hovering.

“I was watching him at our house. He just suddenly got up, put on some clothes and ran to Mickey, crying.” Mandy explained.

Mickey laid Ian down on the couch but Ian won’t let go of him so he was in an awkward position, half sitting and half standing.

“This happen before, Mickey?” Fiona walked closer and saw his brother crying.

“He would cry and shit but he would never fucking leave the bed.” Mickey was still trying to disentangle himself from Ian’s arms but Ian’s grip only got stronger.

“Hey, Gallagher, I ain’t leaving you, okay? I just need to stand for a bit.” Mickey whispered to Ian. “I’m right here, okay?” Ian’s grip softened and Mickey was able to stand up properly but Ian still had a death grip on his hand.

Mandy and Fiona were both looking worriedly at their brothers.

“Can you give us a fucking second?” Mickey sat on the coffee table facing Ian.

Mandy and Fiona went outside and sat on the stairs.

“Gallagher, you good?” Mickey wiped the tears from Ian’s face.

“I woke up and you weren’t there.” Ian whispered.

“I was fucking working man.”

“I thought you left.”

“Told you. I’m not leaving.”

“I just panicked.”

“Shit man, you coulda called me or something. You almost gave Mandy a heart attack.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay. You hungry?”

Ian nodded.

“I’ll call Mandy and Fiona, okay?”

Ian nodded again.

Mickey kissed Ian’s forehead and opened the door to see Mandy and Fiona suddenly stand up.

“He’s hungry.”

“I’ll make sandwiches.” Fiona headed straight for the kitchen.

Mandy crouched down beside Ian and started talking to him while Mickey stood back. Fiona served up the sandwiches and the three of them talked to each other.

Mickey stood off to the side just watching Ian smile again.

~

Come dinner time, all the Gallaghers were home and Mandy had gone off to work. Ian was still on the couch but he was seated and talking to his siblings.

Mickey was sitting near the kitchen counter just watching them.

“You did good.” Lip placed a hand on Mickey’s shoulder.

Mickey shrugged it off. “Just wish this one would last longer than all those fucking depressing days.”

“Well he looks good now.” Lip walked towards the living room to join his other siblings.

After dinner, Ian approached Mickey. “Let’s go home.”

“The fuck you talking about man? You are home.”

“No. Your home.”

Mickey looked at the rest of the Gallaghers. “Maybe you should stay here tonight. They miss you.” It was breaking Mickey’s heart to say this but Ian needed his family and his family needed Ian.

Ian frowned.

Mickey panicked.

He didn’t want to send Ian into another week of depression. “Shit, okay. I’ll stay here with you, is that okay?”

“No, Mickey. Go.” Fiona hugged Ian. “Come by tomorrow?”

Ian nodded.

They all hugged each other.

Afterwards, Mickey and Ian silently made their way home. Ian went into Mickey’s room with Mickey following behind.

Mickey took off his clothes until he was just in his boxers and went to lay down on his bed. Ian did the same and snuggled beside Mickey.

“Mick?”

“Hm?”

“You’re really not gonna leave me?”

“I told you. I’m here for good.”

“Even if I’m broken?”

“You’re not fucking broken, Gallagher.”

“Yeah, but still, you’re really staying with me?”

“Yeah man.”

“Mick?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for picking me too.” Ian kissed Mickey’s chest.

Mickey kissed the top of Ian’s head. “Missed you, Firecrotch.”

“Love you Mick.”

“Love you too, Gallagher.”


	2. Chapter 2

"Morning!"

Mickey woke up to Ian's face hovering inches above his.

Mickey loved mornings like these when Ian was up and about. So he raised his head a bit to capture Ian's mouth in a chaste kiss.

"I think we should have a party tomorrow." Ian started getting up and dressing himself.

"What for?"

"Your birthday Mickey! You're turning 21 tomorrow."

"Who the fuck cares?"

"I do. We could have it here!" Ian was suddenly bouncing on the bed.

Mickey grunted still not completely awake.

"We could invite my family and your family and..." Ian's face was scrunched up in thought.

Mickey laughed.

"Kev and V!" Ian stated proudly.

"Do whatever you want man." Mickey kissed the top of Ian's head.

It has been two weeks since Ian's last depressed episode.

Whenever Ian got like this, Mickey usually just let him do what he wanted, just to keep him happy.

Ian immediately got up and left Mickey's room.

Mickey looked at the clock and sighed. It was only 5am.

He got up and started breakfast. Soon enough, Ian would have woken up everybody in the house. 

Mickey was starting with the pancakes and the bacon when a sleepy Iggy made his way to the kitchen.

"Damn it man. Can your boyfriend be a bit quieter?" Iggy was rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

Mickey just gave him the finger and placed some bacon on a plate and handed it to his brother.

"We having a party tomorrow?" Iggy started munching on the bacon.

"Apparently." Mickey shrugged.

"Fuck man. Can't believe you're turning 21. You're a fucking man now!"

Mickey gave his brother a look.

"Well, sort of a man." Iggy shrugged.

Mickey threw an eggshell at his laughing brother.

"Mind if I bring some friends?"

"Whatever man. Just make sure they bring booze. I ain't paying for everyone's beer."

"Cool cool." Iggy brought his plate back to his room.

Just as Mickey was finishing up with the pancakes, Ian suddenly emerged dragging a sleepy Mandy behind him wearing nothing but a t-shirt. 

"Shit Mandy! Put on some fucking pants! I don't wanna see that shit."

Ian suddenly ran back to Mandy's room and came running back with a pair of her pants, throwing it to Mandy.

"Okay so Iggy said he'll bring friends and Mandy said she'll be bringing someone. Me and Mandy can go out and buy some food and drinks and I'll ask my family on the way back if they want to come." Ian was bouncing on the balls of his feet.

Mickey couldn't help but smile. "How much do you need?" Mickey pulled out his wallet and started pulling out some bills.

"No." Ian was suddenly beside Mickey. "No. No. No. It's your birthday! You don't have to pay for anything. I'll go grab my jacket and we can go, okay Mandy?"

Mandy mumbled something incoherently, falling asleep while eating her pancakes.

Ian walked back to Mickey's room.

"Here. Pay for whatever he's buying." He handed over some money to his sister.

"He doesn't want you to pay." Mandy started rubbing her eyes.

"Just say you got a big tip in the diner. I don't know! Fucking make something up! He doesn't need to be spending money on shit like this." Mickey shoved the money into Mandy's hand.

Ian suddenly came back out and stood beside Mickey.

"You going?" Mickey eyed Ian with a grin.

Ian nodded.

Mickey kissed Ian's shoulder, cause that's as far as he could reach without having to tip toe, and grabbed himself a plate of pancakes. "Get some smokes too, alright?"

"Okay!" Ian was dragging Mandy out the door.

"Fucking Gallagher." Mickey chuckled.

~

Mickey entered the Alibi and sat on the stool.

"How are the girls today?" Mickey asked Kev.

"Full house." Kev handed Mickey a glass of beer an egg and a bottle of Tabasco.

"Good." Mickey started concocting his drink.

"Ian seems to be good today."

"You saw him?"

"Yeah. He dropped by this morning asking me to come to your party and to bring a present."

Mickey chuckled. "He's been telling people to get me fucking gifts?"

"It's what he said." Kev replied with a shrug.

Mickey laughed to himself. He was actually starting to look forward to the party.

~

"Hello?"

"Hey Mick!"

"Hey Gallagher. Where the fuck are you?"

"My house."

"Alright. Bar's closed. I'm heading over."

Ian started laughing. 

"The fuck is so funny?"

"I started nodding and I realized you couldn't see me."

Mickey smiled. "You're such a fucking dork. I'll be over in a bit."

Mickey walked to the Gallagher house and tried opening the door but it was locked.

Which was weird.

So Mickey knocked.

Ian stuck his head out. "Hi Mick!" His smile was huge.

"You letting me in?"

"Uh..." he peeked back into the house and stuck his head back out. "Nope! Give me five seconds and I'll be out."

Ian closed the door and he could hear hushed voices coming from inside. 

After a minute, Ian came out all dressed and ready to go.

"The fuck are you hiding from me?" Mickey was amused.

"You'll find out tomorrow!"

Mickey smirked and they both made their way to Mickey's house. 

When they got to Mickey's room, Ian was still full of energy.

Mickey grinned. "You gonna give me my birthday present early, Gallagher?" 

Ian mirrored his grin and started taking off his clothes.

Mickey took off his clothes as well and got on the bed.

Ian spread Mickey's legs and settled down in between his legs.

Ian lowered his head and swallowed Mickey's cock until he felt the short curly hair on his nose.

Mickey moaned out loud.

Ian pulled back up, his cheeks hollowed and his tongue licking the underside of the shaft.

He swirled his tongue on the tip of Mickey's cock and licked the precum from the slit.

He went back down and swallowed Mickey's cock and sucked as hard as he can on the way up.

Ian's head kept bobbing up and down while his hand started fondling Mickey's balls.

Ian blindly reached for the lube from the table beside the bed and coated his fingers.

Ian returned his hand to Mickey's balls while using two fingers on the other hand to push into Mickey's hole.

Ian pushed against the walls of Mickey's as and went in further looking for Mickey's prostate. 

When Ian hit it, Mickey's moans became louder.

Ian kept hitting the prostate repeatedly while continuing to such Mickey's cock and fondling Mickey's balls.

All the sensations were too much for Mickey to handle so he came into Ian's mouth. Ian swallowed the cum greedily.

Mickey pulled Ian on top of him and started kissing him deeply.

After a while, Mickey flipped their positions and Mickey started lowering himself onto Ian's still hard cock.

Mickey raised and lowered himself repeatedly with his cock coming back to life.

Ian reached out and grabbed Mickey's cock and started jerking him off in sync with Mickey as he fucked himself onto Ian's cock. 

Mickey came with a quiet gasp, tightening around Ian's cock, pushing him over the edge and coming inside Mickey.

Mickey collapsed beside Ian and immediately fell asleep while Ian cleaned Mickey and himself.

Ian came back on the bed after they're both cleaned and watched Mickey sleep.

"Love you Mick." He kissed Mickey lightly on the lips and tried to sleep himself.

~

"Mickey!!"

Mickey suddenly got up when he heard the shout and he looked to his side and saw the empty bed.

He suddenly put on some clothes and ran outside. 

Ian was lying down on the ground surrounded by the Gallaghers, Iggy and Mandy.

"What happened??" Mickey sat beside Ian.

"We were just fixing the decorations and he collapsed and started crying."

Mickey had a panicked look on his face.

"Fuck, Gallagher. No, please, no. Not on my birthday." Mickey leaned over and whispered into Ian's ear, tears filling up his eyes. "Gallagher. Please?"

Ian mumbled something while a continuous stream of tears crossed his cheeks.

"Let's get him back inside." Fiona said gently.

Lip and Iggy carried Ian back into Mickey's room.

Mickey was still sitting on the grass tears threatening to fall while he saw some posters that said Happy Birthday Mickey.

Debbie sat down beside Mickey. "We made those last night. He said they would make you smile."

Mickey started crying and Debbie leaned over to hug Mickey.

~

Mickey could hear people talking and drinking outside while he was in his room sitting on the bed beside where Ian was lying.

"You're a fucker, you know that? You plan this whole thing and you choose today of all the fucking days to be depressed." Mickey was angry and sad and he couldn't help but vent to Ian.

"I'm sorry." Ian whispered quietly.

"Shit, Gallagher. It's not your fault." Mickey suddenly felt bad and frustrated. "It's not your fault." Mickey kissed Ian's arm.

The door opened and people started going into the room.

Fiona, Lip, Carl, Debbie, Liam, Iggy and his girl, Mandy and his man, Kev and V came into the room.

"The fuck are you all doing here? Party's out there!" Mickey wiped his cheeks which were still wet from his tears earlier.

"Birthday party isn't the same without the birthday boy." Lip said.

"I'm not in the mood." Mickey looked at Ian.

Everyone started settling down in the room. Liam, Carl and Debbie sat on the bed.

Kev sat on the chair in the corner of the room while V sat on his lap and Fiona sat on the armrest of the chair.

Everyone else settled on the floor surrounding the bed.

Fiona stood up and walked over to Mickey and handed him an envelope.

"The fuck is this?" Mickey took the envelope.

"Your birthday gift. From all of us."

Mickey opened the envelope and he found a couple hundred dollars and a piece of paper with a date and time and an address.

"What the fuck?"

"We set an appointment with a doctor. Everything's paid for and there's money in there for his medication." Mandy explained.

"I fucking told you! He's not going into a fucking nut house!" Mickey almost threw the envelope across the room.

"We talked to the doctor man. He'll prescribe pills and see if they work. If they do, he won't need to be hospitalized." Lip calmly said.

"If they fucking don't?"

"We'll figure it out then." Fiona said softly but firmly.

"Maybe when he's on his meds, he'll be back to normal and you'd be happier too." Debbie was looking at Mickey through her lashes.

Mickey kept quiet.

Iggy sighed. "Dude just get him to the fucking doctor's appointment so you can have your fucking boyfriend back. One noisy little shit is better than two sad little shits."

Mickey smiled. "Thanks guys." Mickey whispered.

Fiona kissed Mickey on the head. "Thanks for taking care of Ian."

Mickey places his hand on Ian's arm.

"Hey Mickey. One of your girls told me to give you this." Kev got up and handed Mickey a piece of paper.

Mickey laughed.

It had the words Free Blowjob written on it.

"Here. You need this more than I do." Mickey handed the piece of paper to Lip who cracked up as well.

Everybody started chatting and laughing together and Mickey joined in while keeping an eye on Ian.

~

When everybody finally left his room, Mickey stripped down to his boxers and settled in on the bed beside Ian.

Mickey leaned in and whispered into Ian's ear. "Hey Firecrotch. Thanks for my party. That was probably the best birthday I ever had."

Mickey sighed quietly.

"I wish you were there though."

Mickey kissed Ian's cheek.

"Love you."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Terry is out of jail and Mickey does his best to protect Ian

Mickey was looking at the lying Ian in front of him.

They had a doctor's appointment scheduled next week.

Oddly enough, Mickey's looking forward to it.

He misses Ian.

The old Ian.

The Ian who could talk both his ears off and fuck his brains out.

His Ian.

Suddenly, Iggy comes barreling into his room, out of breath.

"What the fuck?"

"Got a text from Uncle Ronnie. Dad's out."

Mickey was immediately on his feet, heart pumping double time. "Iggy, take him to the Gallaghers. I'll gather a few things and see you there."

Iggy made his way to the other side of the bed. Ian wasn't wearing anything other than a pair of boxers.

Iggy shrugged.

He wrapped Ian up in the blanket as best he could, carried him in his arms and started leaving.

"Hurry up man. They're on their way back."

Mickey nodded.

Mickey went over to the far corner of his room and took out the loose floor board and collected the money he hid there for emergencies.

He went to his dresser and pocketed his gun, some bullets and his knife.

He went back to his bed and took one of the pillowcases. He started collecting his clothes and shoving in as much as he could fit.

After he got everything he needed, he left the house, leaving behind his wife and his wailing baby.

Mickey was making his way up the steps of the Gallagher house when he heard Ian's screams.

He ran into the house and saw Iggy trying to talk to a hysterical Ian in the living room with the rest of the Gallaghers slowly gathering around.

Mickey crouched down to where Ian was laying. "Gallagher. The fuck is going on with you?"

"Go away."

"You seriously doing this right now?"

"Go away!" His words hurt more than Mickey will ever admit.

"Ian." Mickey cupped Ian's face.

"Jesus! Leave me the fuck alone!" Ian punched Mickey across the face.

Iggy started walking towards Ian with clenched fists but Mickey held him back with a hand on his shoulder.

"I got this. Go back home and tell the other shit heads that dad's home."

Iggy sighed. "I'll try my best to keep him away."

Mickey looked at his brother. He wanted to thank him but they've never done that sort of thing before so he didn't know how.

Iggy just smiled. "Stay alive, dickbreath."

"Assface."

Mickey's smile quickly disappeared when he looked back at Ian. Ian has stopped lashing out. Mickey didn't know if that was an improvement.

Mickey walked closer and tried carrying Ian to bring him to his room.

"Don't fucking touch me!" Ian pushed Mickey away.

Mickey lost control and punched a hole in the living room wall and let out an angry "FUCK!"

"Debbie, go help Mickey. Carl, Lip, help carry Ian into his room." Fiona quietly gave instructions to her siblings.

Mickey watched as Lip crouched down and whispered to Ian. Ian nodded and they proceeded taking him upstairs.

"He doesn't hate you, Mickey." Debbie pulled Mickey towards the couch and started cleaning his hand.

"Sure seems like it."

"He just isn't thinking clearly right now." Fiona handed Mickey a beer which he gladly took.

"Alright Debs, you know the drill. Anything sharp and pointy goes into the basement."

Debbie finished up with Mickey's hand, nodded and started rummaging through the drawers.

Mickey closed his eyes, leaned his head back and tried to take control of the emotions that are trying to eat him up from the inside out.

~

"Mickey! Mickey!" Mickey suddenly sat up and his eyes flew open.

"Ian?"

"Mickey, you were screaming in your sleep." Fiona looked worried.

Mickey was suddenly aware of his sweat soaked shirt. He rubbed his face with his hands in an effort to clear his mind.

His dad was out of jail.

The man who made a fucking whore rape Mickey in front of Ian was out of fucking jail.

Mickey was shaking, uncontrollably.

He was a dead man.

"Fuck man you need to calm down!" Lip sat beside Mickey.

"Who the fuck's watching Ian?"

"Carl's upstairs. What the fuck's up with you?"

"I gotta get out of here." Mickey suddenly stood up and grabbed his pillow case full of clothes.

"Where are you going?" Fiona walked over to Mickey.

"Away. My dad's out of jail and he'll start looking for me. If I stay here, he'll get to Ian."

"You can't leave him!" Debbie shouted.

"What the fuck do you want me to do?! My dad will fucking kill us when he finds us!"

"Stay with him, Mickey. He needs you." Fiona pleaded.

"I need him to stay alive." He put all the strength he had into those words.

Fiona sighed. "At least stay the night. Have dinner with us."

Mickey sighed but nodded and joined everyone on the dining table.

"Debs, why don't you bring your plate upstairs and eat with Ian? Tell Carl to come down." Lip patted Debbie on the back.

Debbie nodded and turned to Mickey. "What does Ian eat?"

"Cereal. Leave it on the table beside the bed. He'll eat it when he's hungry. Don't force it on him."

Debbie nodded and started preparing Ian's meal.

Mickey looked down at his plate trying to figure out where he would go where his dad won't find him.

"What really happened, Mickey?" Fiona asked

Mickey looked up and saw everyone looking at him. 

"What?"

"Why did Ian leave? What happened?"

"None of your fucking business." Mickey mumbled.

Fiona lost it. "Fuck you Mickey! The moment you dragged my brother down with you, it became my fucking business and we deserve to know why the hell our brother ran away without so much as a fucking word!"

Mickey immediately stood up and went upstairs, to Ian, before anyone could see the tears that made its way across his cheeks.

He gently walked into Ian's room and stood beside his bed.

"Gallagher?"

Ian remained silent.

Mickey knelt beside the bed. "Ian, talk to me."

The silence that answered him was almost deafening.

"I need you." Mickey let the tears fall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be one more chapter until the "end" but I'll probably keep adding and adding as the story goes. :)


	4. Chapter 4

_dads pissed. meet you under the L in 10._

Mickey squinted while he tried to read the message from his phone.

It was already dark and he had fallen asleep beside Ian's bed.

Mickey looked at Ian.

He sighed and planted a soft kiss on his head before leaving the bedroom.

He made his way downstairs and took the envelope he got for his birthday out of his pocket. He stuck it on the fridge with a magnet and wrote down 'be back asap' on it.

Mickey then left the house to meet his brother.

When he got there, Iggy was already pacing and smoking.

"Terry's gone apeshit man. Went fucking crazy when your fucking wife told him you left her and the kid to stay with your boyfriend."

"Fuck."

"We gotta think of something quick."

"How's everyone else?"

"Colin's outta jail so I told him to stay at home and watch Mandy since Terry likes him best."

Mickey nodded.

"And you are going with me. We're staying with this chick I'm seeing. Says she doesn't mind us crashing at her place for a couple of days til we figure this shit out."

"Thanks man."

Iggy just grunted his reply.

~

Mickey tried settling into the crappy couch at Iggy's girlfriend's place.

It was late at night and Mickey was tired but it's been a while since he had to sleep without Ian beside him and the utter lack of warmth is just something he'll never get used to.

He brought out his cellphone and sent a quick text to Ian's phone.

_gotta take care of terry. be back soon as i can. i still aint leaving you firecrotch. love you._

Mickey sent the text and tried his best to fall asleep.

~

Mickey felt the sun hit his face.

He slowly sat up and opened his eyes to be greeted by a Max, Iggy's girlfriend.

A very naked Iggy's girlfriend.

"What the fuck?! Put some fucking clothes on, bitch."

She chuckled and picked up what looked like Iggy's shirt from the floor and put it on.

"Your brother wasn't kidding when he said you were gay."

"Fuck you!"

Max chuckled once again and handed him a plate of eggs and bacon.

It has been a couple of days that Mickey and Iggy were crashing at Max's place and they still couldn't figure out how to get rid of their father.

Mickey's phone vibrated so he took it out of his pocket.

It was Debbie.

_still the same. going to the doctor this noon._

Mickey sighed. Ian's current depressed state was the longest by far and Mickey was kind of glad that they were finally visiting the doctor.

He just wished he was the one bringing Ian there.

Mickey's thoughts were suddenly disrupted by a frantic Iggy making his way through to the living room, talking on the phone.

Iggy looked like he was barely keeping his anger in check.

Mickey waited until his brother put down the phone.

"Who was that?"

"Mands."

"The fuck does she want?"

"She's pregnant."

Mickey chuckled. "Well, no shocker there. Who the fuck's the father?"

Iggy winced.

"Who the fuck is the father, Iggy?"

Max took her cue and left the room.

"Terry." Iggy said in a barely audible whisper.

"What the fuck?" Mickey was frozen in place.

"Dad gets drunk sometimes and thinks Mandy is mom."

Mickey shot up from his chair and brought out the gun and knife he had taken before he left his house.

He was halfway out the door before he turned back to his brother. "Are you fucking coming?!"

That seemed to bring his brother back to reality. Iggy grabbed his weapons and the two of them made their way to their house.

Without hesitation, they barged into their house, seething.

"Where's that motherfucker?" Mickey yelled, gun out, ready to fire.

They were greeted by Svetlana bouncing Yengeny on her hip. "You do not point gun when baby is here."

"Fuck off!" Mickey addressed his wife. After a quick scan through the room, Mickey lowered his gun.

Mickey and Iggy made their way to Mandy's room to find Colin and Mandy sitting on the bed with crumpled bills between them.

"What the fuck are you doing here? Told you not to come here or he'll have your ass." Mandy said when he saw Mickey walking into the room.

"You're seriously worried about that right now? The fuck are you two doing anyway?"

"600 dollars."

"What?"

"That's how much the abortion will cost." Mandy whispered.

"We got about 295 between  the two of us." Colin said pointing to the pile of bills.

Iggy started emptying his pockets on the bed while Mickey did the same.

"How much does that make?" Iggy asked once they've completely emptied their pockets.

"Barely 500 bucks." Colin said straightening out the bills.

"I left some money with Gallagher. I'll cover the rest." Mickey said.

Before Mandy could form a reply, Terry came barging in, his gun quickly finding its way to Mickey.

Iggy and Colin immediately got up and stood on either side of Mickey, shielding their sister from their father.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Terry spat.

"Cleaning up the mess you made getting our fucking sister, your fucking daughter, pregnant!" Mickey screamed, itching to bring out his own gun.

Terry let out an evil chuckle. "At least I'm man enough to stick it in a fucking woman instead of up someone's ass like the fucking AIDS monkey you are!"

Iggy and Colin slowly pulled out their guns and pointed it at their father.

"Put the gun down." Colin mumbled.

"What the fuck?!" Terry was outraged.

"I said put the gun down, dad!" Colin shouted.

Mickey heard Mandy sniffling behind them and lost it. He took advantage of the momentary distraction and disarmed Terry, gun falling on the floor.

He punched his father in the gut and watched him fall on the floor. He straddled his father and threw punch after punch after punch.

He didn't even see his father's face anymore.

All he saw was Ian's face, tears gathered in his eyes while he watched Svetlana rise and fall on his dick.

He saw Ian's face, hurt and destroyed, when he found out Mickey was getting married.

He saw Ian's determined look when he told Mickey he was enlisting in the army.

He saw Mandy's tear-stained face when she found out she was pregnant with her father's baby.

Mickey kept throwing punch after punch after punch until he felt both his brothers haul him off of their father.

Mickey threw in one last kick before he stood up and looked around.

Cops surrounded them, all guns pointed at Terry. He looked behind him and saw Mandy talking to a cop, tears running down her face.

He turned to his brothers beside him and saw they had matching looks of indifference on their faces.

Mickey looked back to their father's unconscious body being hauled out.

Mickey grinned. "Never thought I'd see the day the Milkoviches actually get to call the cops."

The three brothers chuckled amongst themselves.

And for the Milkoviches, that was as close to 'I love you' as they were gonna get.

~

Mickey entered the hospital and quickly made his way to where Debbie texted him they'd be.

He walked down endless hallways until he saw the Gallaghers sitting on plastic chairs that lined either side of the hall.

Debbie ran to him and hugged him.

"The fuck happened?"

"Ian woke up and he was hysterical. He thought he sent you away. He said you weren't coming back." Debbie sniffled. "He wouldn't calm down and they had to put him on sedatives."

"Fuck. Where is he??"

"They won't let us see him until he's stable." Fiona said with a sad smile. 

Mickey ran a bloody hand through his disshelved hair and started pacing around the hallway. 

"Excuse me, sir? Would you be needing medical attention?"

Mickey turned around and saw a nurse eyeing his bloodied face, busted lip, messy hair and busted knuckles.

Despite the circumstances, the Gallaghers, and maybe even Mickey, started laughing among themselves.

~

A few hours later, all of them were still waiting until they'd be allowed to see Ian.

"It was my dad." Mickey mumbled.

"What?" Fiona looked up.

"My dad walked in on Ian and I fucking."

Fiona winced at Mickey's choice of words.

"He saw us and he fucking blew up. He started attacking Ian until I was able to get him off. Pointed a gun at us too."

"Debbie,  can you get us some coffee?" Lip said quietly sensing that the story wasn't something he'd want Debbie to hear.

"He pointed a gun at the both of us and called a Russian whore to fuck me straight while Ian watched."

"Shit." Fiona watched the tears make their way down Mickey's face.

"Then I found out that the whore was pregnant and my dad threatened to fucking kill Ian if I didn't marry the bitch."

Lip moved closer to Mickey, placing a comforting hand on his back. 

"I drove him away." Mickey said quietly. "I fucking broke him."

Mickey finally broke down, letting out all the emotions that he's kept bottled up after all this time.

~

They just started waking up from their restless night when the nurse came back saying that Ian was ready to receive visitors.

Mickey stayed outside and watched everyone else enter the room.

A couple hours went by and everyone started exiting the room.

Mickey got up and walked in.

"Gallagher?"

"Mickey."

"Fuck." Mickey quickly walked up to Ian's bed and sat in the chair beside it.

"I thought you weren't coming back."

"I'll always come back."

"They said they'll keep me here for a month to see if I'm responding well to the meds."

Mickey nodded. "I'll visit you everyday."

"No Mick." Ian was suddenly shaking. "They said no visitors until they were sure the meds were working properly."

Mickey wrapped Ian up in his arms and planted a kiss on Ian's head.

"I'll be here when you get better, okay Firecrotch? I'll wait for you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No idea how the hospital works. 
> 
> I'll probably continue this. Got a few ideas but I don't know when they'll be up.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey texts Ian every single day.

Day 1:

hi gallagher. dunno if youre allowed to fucking text. miss you already. night love you

Day 2:

house is so fucking quiet without you. i miss your annoying ass.

Day 3:

my beds too big without you hogging all the space.

Day 4:

i accidentally made extra pancakes. forgot you werent here.

Day 5:

your pillow still smells like you. you better be back before it runs out of your smell.

Day 6:

love you.

Day 7:

its been 2 months since we last fucked i swear my dick is gonna fall off

Day 8:

its only the eighth fucking day gallagher. i dont know how im gonna do this without you.

Day 9:

spent the day with yev today. talked to him about you. youll like him.

Day 10:

i fucking miss you gallagher. youre such a fucker for leaving me again. i hate that youre not here. i fucking hate feeling like im missing a fucking limb cause your brain decides it wants to be fucking bipolar. i just fucking miss you.

Day 11:

i dont think ill ever get used to waking up without you clinging to me like a fucking leech

Day 12:

i married a fucking lesbian gallagher. svetlana has a fucking girlfriend. you wouldve been laughing your ass off right now.

Day 13:

i dont completely hate my son. i think youll like yev. come home soon.

Day 14:

i miss your smile gallagher.

Day 15:

i dreamt of you gallagher. i woke up with a fucking smile cause i dreamt of you. miss you.

Day 16:

i went to the hospital today. the bitches there wont let me see you.

Day 17:

i stole your shirt from your house. it doesnt fit me right but i aint taking it off.

Day 18:

i slept in your bed today. your brothers looked at me like i was crazy. i like your bed gallagher. it doesnt feel as empty as mine.

Day 19:

yev and liam played together today. wish you were here to play with us. or even just play with me.

Day 20:

my heart hurts.

Day 21:

i miss you so much its not even fucking funny anymore.

Day 22:

8 more fucking days until i get to see your stupid face.

Day 23:

i miss your hugs that i pretend to hate.

Day 24:

i love you. cant wait to hear you say it back.

Day 25:

i slept in your house again. we need to get you a bigger bed when you come back.

Day 26:

i hate feeling so alone gallagher. i need you here with me.

Day 27:

3 more fucking days. 

Day 28:

do you think theyll call the cops if i sleep in the hospital until they let you out?

Day 29:

im not even gonna try to sleep tonight. i miss you firecrotch. see you in a few hours.

Day 30: 

im on my way.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter and then we're done. :)
> 
> I actually have no idea how to do the "epilogue" for this so if you have any ideas, speak up! :)

Mickey walked quietly into his room.

It was already late at night and he wasn’t sure if Ian was already sleeping or not. It has been a couple of weeks since Ian’s release from the hospital and he seemed tired all the time.

“Mick?”

“Hey man. Thought you’d be asleep by now.”

“Couldn’t sleep.” Ian leaned across the bed to turn on the bedside lamp.

“Everything good?”

Ian nodded.

Mickey stripped down to his boxers and climbed into bed next to Ian.

He could already feel himself slowly getting hard. He palmed his crotch to get himself fully erect while he leaned over and inhaled Ian’s scent.

It has been a couple of months since they last had sex and the involuntary abstinence frustrated Mickey to no end.

Mickey pressed his erection against Ian’s thigh and started kissing Ian’s neck. He then started rubbing his erection against Ian and moaning hotly against Ian’s ear.

“Mick, stop.”

Mickey froze and slowly backed off. He tried his hardest not to show how his heart fell when Ian gently pushed him off.

Ian still noticed though. “Mick, I’m sorry. It’s the medicine. It’s fucking up my body.”

“It’s fine.” Mickey whispered.

“I can’t get it up.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Mickey lightly kissed Ian’s shoulder. “I’ll just take a shower.” Mickey got up and dragged himself into the bathroom.

Once he walked in, he saw himself in the mirror. The scars were still there from when his dad attacked him. His eyes were dull and eye bags underneath just completed the whole look.

Mickey stepped back and looked at the reflection of his upper body. A thin layer of fat now covered what used to be his abs. Between taking care of Ian, Yev, Mandy, Svetlana and her girlfriend Nikka and Mickey’s shitty business above the Alibi, Mickey lost all the time he had for himself. He can’t even remember the last time he worked out.

Deep inside, he knew that Ian’s medication really was fucking up with his libido but Mickey couldn’t help the effect that the rejection had to his self-esteem.

Feeling even more defeated than before, Mickey stepped into the shower and quickly cleaned himself. On his way out of the bathroom, Mickey avoided looking at the mirror and headed straight to his bedroom. He grabbed a random pair of boxers and put them on. Before going towards the bed, he decided to put a shirt on as well.

He then settled down beside Ian.

“Mick?”

“Yeah.”

“I love you, okay?”

“You too.”

Ian rested his head on Mickey’s chest with one hand landing on Mickey’s stomach. Mickey gently moved Ian’s hand away and fell asleep hearing Ian’s breaths.

~

Ian jogged up the steps and walked into the Milkovich house. He was back from visiting his siblings and he welcomed the silence in this house after dealing with the chaos that is the Gallagher family.

When Ian walked in, the first thing he saw was Yev’s playpen abandoned in the living room. He looked in and saw that Yev was quietly snoring. Ian pulled out his phone to check the day.

It was Thursday which meant that Svetlana was supposed to be watching Yev.

He walked over to Terry’s old room which Svetlana and Nikka claimed and he found it empty. He went on to check the Iggy’s, Collin’s and Mandy’s bedrooms and all of them were empty.

Ian sighed and sent a silent thank you to whoever was up there for keeping Yevgeny safe despite being left alone in an empty house.

He walked towards Mickey’s room and he started hearing sounds.

He heard the unmistakable sounds of Mickey’s moans and grunts.

Ian felt betrayed, angry and sad all at the same time. Someone was in their having sex with Mickey. His Mickey.

Ian barged into the room ready to knock someone out.

“Shit.” Mickey quickly bundled all the sheets to cover his body.

Ian let out a sigh of relief. “Fuck Mick! I thought you were having sex with somebody.”

Mickey did not release the death grip he has on the sheets. He merely extended his foot to shut the laptop.

Ian took off his shoes and started making his way towards the bed when he saw how uncomfortable Mickey was.

“You okay, Mick?”

“Yeah. Fine. I just need my clothes.”

“Okay.” Ian didn’t understand.

“I just… Can you hand them over?”

Ian chuckled. “It’s nothing I haven’t seen before, Mick.”

Mickey sighed, still not moving.

“Mick?” Something wasn’t right.

Mickey avoided eye contact.

“I don’t mind that you’re naked Mickey.”

“I mind! Okay? I just really need my clothes.”

Ian sighed frustratedly. He bent over and threw the clothes at Mickey.

Mickey took the clothes and dressed up under the sheets.

“What, did you get another weird tattoo?”

Mickey kept quiet.

“Did you sleep with someone else and he left hickeys on you?”

Mickey still didn’t say anything.

“Mickey?”

“I just don’t want you to see me like this, okay?”

“Like what? Jerking off?”

“No.”

“Then what, Mick?”

“Ugly.”

Ian felt his gut twist. That definitely wasn’t what Ian expected to hear. “Mickey, is this about last night?”

“No.”

“Don’t lie, Mick.”

“Stop, okay? I don’t want you stressing over this shit. I’m fine. I’ll figure it out. Worry about your own shit. I can handle myself.” Mickey quickly left the room.

Ian felt tears filling his eyes. He was doing this to Mickey. His stupid sickness is hurting Mickey and he felt so helpless.

Ian crawled into bed, curled up into himself and cried as quietly as possible.

~

“Mickey?” Ian knocked on his bedroom door.

Ian stopped just walking into his room ever since yesterday. He didn’t want to freak Mickey out even more and it just hurt to see Mickey ashamed of his body.

“Yeah hang on.” A few moments later, Mickey walked out of his bedroom.

Ian hugged Mickey and buried his nose in Mickey’s neck. He was relieved to feel Mickey tighten his arms around Ian in return.

Ian raised his head and kissed Mickey chastely on the lips.

He’ll do anything to make Mickey happy again.

~

“Mickey! Mickey! Mickey!” Ian was standing at the front door, bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet.

“What the fuck, Gallagher?!” Mickey ran towards the living room to see what was happening.

“We’re gonna be laaaaate!” Ian whined.

Mickey grinned. It was almost like the old Ian was back. “Hang on Firecrotch. I gotta get Yev.”

Mickey walked back to his room and grabbed Yev and the baby bag and the three of them started heading towards the Gallagher house for dinner.

Ian bounced up the steps of his house and swung the door open. Fiona was immediately there hugging Ian.

“How are you Ian?” Her smile was big but her eyes were searching Ian for any possible signs of the illness.

“I’m great!” Ian announced.

Fiona chuckled. “That’s good.”

She walked over to Mickey. “He seems well.”

“Yeah.” Mickey smiled fondly at Ian who was throwing Liam into the air and catching him again.

“Why hello there Yevy! Remember me?” Fiona started making faces at a giggling Yevgeny.

“Stop it!” Mickey swatted Fiona away and walked into the house.

~

They were all settled into the living room, after dinner, to watch a movie.

Ian has plastered himself all over Mickey like a human blanket and it was getting Mickey hard but he really didn’t want to push Ian away so he decided that he’ll deal with his hard on in the shower when they get home.

Mickey moved his hand to lift Ian’s shirt a bit and started stroking Ian’s skin with his hand.

Ian sighed into Mickey’s shoulder.

Once the movie ended, all the Gallagher kids were herded up the stairs by Lip. Mickey went over to Liam’s old playpen and gently picked a sleeping Yevgeny up.

“Why don’t you guys stay here tonight?” Fiona whispered.

Mickey frowned at the prospect of his shower-jerk-off-session being cancelled. “We won’t be able to fit in that tiny-ass bed.”

“I can take Yev in my room.” Fiona smiled, giddy at the thought of having another baby to smother.

Mickey looked at Ian.

Ian shrugged. “We can go home first thing in the morning.”

Mickey sighed and handed over his son to Fiona. “Just don’t give him any fucking coke, okay?”

Fiona flipped Mickey off and made her way upstairs.

The moment Fiona was out of sight, Ian was on Mickey.

Ian kissed Mickey hungrily, biting Mickey’s lips then having his tongue explore Mickey’s mouth. Mickey’s whole body was too shocked to react, apart from the hardening member in his crotch.

Ian pushed Mickey backwards and he fell back onto the couch. Ian quickly straddled Mickey and leaned down to kiss Mickey’s neck.

Mickey lifted his hips and started rubbing their cocks together through their jeans.

Ian let out a deep moan that went straight to Mickey’s dick.

Mickey grabbed at Ian’s shirt and pushed it up and off. Mickey lifted himself up and started lapping Ian’s nipple.

Ian started unbuttoning his jeans and he got up to take them off. Mickey got up as well and took off his pants and boxers but hesitated when it came to his shirt.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to.” Ian said softly.

Ian pushed Mickey back onto the couch and straddled him once again. Ian leaned down and started mouthing Mickey’s nipples through his shirt.

“Fuuuck!”

Mickey ran his hands down Ian’s naked back and pulled Ian’s butt down to increase the friction between their cocks.

Ian maneuvered their bodies so that Mickey’s legs were propped up on his shoulders. He reached for his pants on the floor and grabbed a condom and some lube from his pocket.

He placed some lube on three fingers and moved to caress Mickey’s tight hole.

Mickey groaned loudly.

Ian turned his head to kiss Mickey’s ankle and then he carefully pushed one finger inside. He added another finger slowly and carefully stretched him out. Ian bent his finger right where Mickey’s prostate was and Mickey’s hips shot off the couch.

Ian pinned down Mickey’s hips and added a third finger, hitting his prostate repeatedly.

Mickey kept moaning and writhing under Ian’s touch.

Ian grabbed the condom with his free hand and ripped the packaging with his teeth while continuing to fuck Mickey with his fingers.

He carefully rolled the condom on and applied some lube.

Once Ian was ready, he pulled his fingers out and slammed his dick deep into Mickey.

“Fucking-”

“Shiiit!”

Ian thrust in a few more times before lifting Mickey’s butt upward to change the angle. He slammed into Mickey, directly hitting Mickey’s prostate and Mickey bit his own arm in order to stifle a scream.

Ian kept slamming into Mickey hitting the sweet spot every single time.

Mickey braced himself on the arms of the sofa, tears slowly spilling from his eyes.

“’M near.” Mickey moaned.

Ian slammed harder still into Mickey holding off his own orgasm.

Mickey’s breathing became short and labored.

Ian is on the very edge, about to come.

Mickey’s whole body froze and thick white spurts of come came shooting towards Mickey’s shirt.

Ian let go and let out a loud moan as he came, thrusting throughout his own orgasm.

“Fuck, Gallagher.” Mickey wiped the tears from his face.

Ian smiled and kissed Mickey on the lips. He grabbed his shirt from the floor and handed it to Mickey. “Change into this while I get something to clean us up.”

Ian came back from the bathroom and wiped Mickey clean as well. He helped put on Mickey’s underwear as well as his own.

“What’s gotten into you?” Mickey asked, still coming down from the amazing sex he just had.

Ian shrugged. “I just missed you.”

Ian turned Mickey to his side and squeezed himself in between Mickey and the back of the couch.

Mickey can’t remember the last time he was this happy and contented.

~

Mickey felt someone hit his forehead. He frowned and opened his eyes. Fiona, carrying Yev, was in front of him. “What the fuck?”

“That was for keeping me up the whole fucking night!”

Mickey grinned at the memory.

He sat up and stretched as Lip made his way down the stairs.

“The two of you are never allowed in this house. Ever.” Lip told Mickey.

Mickey just sent a smug smile his way.

“Shit. Is he okay?” Lip suddenly looked extremely worried.

Mickey was confused and turned around to look at Ian. What he saw was horrifyingly familiar. Ian was on his side with a constant stream of tears running down his face.

“What the fuck man? Did you take your pills last night?”

“You were going to leave.” Ian said through his tears.

“How many fucking times do I have to tell you that I’m not leaving?” Mickey was frustrated.

“You weren’t happy with me anymore.” Ian accused.

Mickey sighed and turned to Lip. “Do you have his pills here?”

Lip shook his head.

“Shit. I think I have some in Yev’s bag. Keep an eye on him.” Mickey ran up the stairs and into Fiona’s room grabbing Ian’s medication from the pocket and running back down.

He was greeted by a hysterical Ian being held back by Lip.

“The fuck happened?”

“He just flipped out!” Lip answered.

Ian’s cries seemed to scare Yev and the young Milkovich started his own stream of loud wails.

“Holy fucking shit!” Mickey yelled out of frustration.

Mickey stomped into the kitchen and grabbed a cube of ice from the freezer and handed it to Yev to play with. Yevgeny immediately quieted down and started licking his new toy.

“Can you take him upstairs so this crying shithead doesn’t make him another crying shithead?”

Fiona ignored all the expletives and obediently brought Yevgeny upstairs.

Mickey turned back to Lip and Ian.

“What do we do?” Lip asked.

Mickey walked over to Ian. “Hey. Drink these up, it’ll make you feel better.” Mickey said in the gentlest voice he had.

“NO!” Ian screamed. “That’s why you weren’t happy!”

Mickey sighed.

“What now?” Lip asked.

“I hold him down, you put these in his mouth.”

“Are you fucking kidding? We can’t force-feed him the medicine!”

“You got a better idea?”

Just then, Ian let out a piercing wail that felt like it was drilling holes into Mickey’s already aching head.

“Ian fucking Gallagher, I swear, I’m gonna walk out this fucking door if you don’t take these damn pills!” Mickey yelled.

Ian was immediately silenced.

Lip quickly ran to the kitchen and came back with a glass of water. He took the meds from Mickey and handed them to his little brother who begrudgingly took them.

“Get some rest, okay?” Lip whispered.

“Fuck you!” Ian angrily turned to face the back of the couch. Moments later, Ian’s breathing evened out when he finally fell asleep.

Lip turned to Mickey and held out his pack of cigarettes.

Mickey took one and they walked out the door and sat on the porch lighting their cigarettes up.

“I don’t know how you can deal with that every single day man.” Lip exhaled the smoke through his mouth.

Mickey just shrugged.

“Seriously, how the hell can you deal with that without wanting to rip his head off? I’ve been with him for only, like, 5 minutes and I wanted to shoot myself in the head.”

Mickey let out a dry laugh. “Everyone is broken in some kinda fucked up way. I was broken and Ian fixed me. Now it’s my turn to do that for him. I ain’t leaving him just cause his brain’s fucked.”

Lip turned to look at Mickey. “I hated you, you know?”

Mickey scoffed. “You made that pretty clear, asshole.”

“Well, Ian’s lucky to have an asshole like you watching his back.”

Mickey didn’t know how to answer to that. So he didn’t.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter guys!! I hope I ended it nicely. This is probably my most favorite one that I wrote! Thanks so much to everyone who stuck with my erratic posting schedule with this story.
> 
> Now I'm off to finish the other stories that I've left hanging.
> 
> Let me know what you think! :)

“What was that?” Fiona asked while clearing the table.

It was night time and the house was mostly empty. Ian was still sleeping on the couch and Mickey was sitting in the dining area.

Mickey shrugged.

“Oh don’t give me any of that, Milkovich. My little brother is freaking out and I wanna know why! Do we need to get him new meds? Does he need to go to the doctor again? I think I have some money over here-”

“Will you shut the fuck up for one fucking minute? Jesus!”

Fiona turned back to Mickey, eyebrow raised, waiting for an answer.

“He thinks that taking the meds will drive me away.”

“How the hell did he come up with that?”

Mickey hesitated. It felt like it was a private thing between Ian and himself, like a secret he was supposed to keep. But ever since all this shit started, he kept to himself. He didn’t have anyone to talk to about all this shit and he felt like he was ripping at the seams.

He looked at Fiona. Ian trusts her with his life. So maybe Mickey can trust her too.

Mickey took a deep breath. “The meds fucks him up.”

“How?”

“It prevents him from feeling anything.”

“Like?”

“Like get urges.”

“Ian can’t get a hard on and because you can’t have sex, he thinks that’s enough reason for you to walk away?”

Mickey looked at Fiona in awe. All he could do was nod.

“Is it enough to drive you away?”

“Are you fucking kidding me? My fucking father wasn’t enough to drive me away from him.”

Fiona smiled. “You two’ll figure it out.”

“That all you got?”

“That’s all you’ll need.”

Mickey watched as Fiona made her way up the stairs.

Mickey got up and sat on the floor, in front of the couch, by Ian’s head and listened to his quiet snores.

“Mick?”

Mickey turned to look at Ian. “Yeah?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it, Gallagher. Go back to sleep.”

“Okay.”

~

Ian was sitting on Mickey’s bed while Mickey go through their bills.

“Mick?” Ian whispered.

Mickey turned to Ian. “Yeah?”

“You don’t have to stay.” Ian was fiddling with his fingers, not looking at Mickey.

“What?”

Ian sighed. “You should go find someone else. I can go home so you don’t have to take care of me. You can find someone else who can work and help you pay for stuff and you won’t have to use your money to buy stupid medicine. You can find someone else to have sex with so you won’t have to jerk off in the shower every night. You don’t have to feel guilty about going away. Just leave me Mick. You deserve someone better. You’ll be happier with someone else. Someone you’re not afraid to be naked around. Someone you don’t have to be careful with, someone else who will make you happier. I’m not making you happy anymore Mick. I can see it. I’m hurting you. I hate myself. So just go. Find someone else. Please Mick just-”

Ian started crying.

Mickey felt like he was slapped in the face. He did not see that coming and for a second, he didn’t even know how to reply.

“You’ll be happier with someone normal, Mick.”

Mickey sighed and started gathering all the papers he was going through. He placed them on the table and crawled to where Ian was.

Ian sniffled while Mickey thought of what to say.

“What the fuck is going on in your head, Gallagher?” That was the best Mickey could come up with.

“I just… I want you to be happy.”

“What makes you think leaving you will make me happy?”

“I’m the reason why you’re sad a lot.”

“And you’re also the reason why I’m happier.”

“You’re not happier.”

“Fuck, Gallagher. What the hell do you want me to say?”

Ian’s head was down.

“Look, I don’t know how you got those fucking things in your head but, as I’ve said a million fucking times, I ain’t leaving you, Gallagher. I’m here for good. And if being with you for-fucking-ever means that I’ll have blue balls for the rest of my life, I don’t care. You’re it for me.”

Ian looked up at Mickey. Mickey can see that Ian wasn’t totally convinced yet but at least he wasn’t frowning anymore.

“I stood up to my own fucking father for your ass.”

A small smile appeared on Ian’s face. “That was on you Mick. You said your dad wasn’t coming home ‘til the next day.”

“Thought he was.”

“Wasn’t that bad though, now that I think about it.”

“Speak for yourself, asswipe. You weren’t the one getting raped by a whore with fucking Ben Wa beads shoved up your ass.”

“What?”

“You seriously thought I took the time to yank that shit out with  my dad was punching you into a bleeding pulp?”

“It was inside the whole time?” Ian was staring at Mickey in disbelief.

“It was probably the only reason why I came.”

Ian broke out in laughter.

Mickey smiled.

“That’s a nice story to tell Yev when he grows up.”

“Fucker.”

Ian leaned over to Mickey and hugged him. “You’re amazing and I love you so much.”

“Love you too, Firecrotch.”

~

Ian climbed up the stairs and walked into his room. He dropped on the floor, reached his hand under his bed and felt around for the box that he hid there.

Once he got it, he pulled it out and opened it. He grabbed the smaller box that was inside and walked to the bathroom.

He sat at the edge of the tub and opened the box.

Back when Ian was going through his manic-depression, Ian thought he’d ask Mickey to marry him. He opened the small box and took out the ring.

If he asked Mickey to marry him now, then that’ll just mean that he’s giving Mickey no way out. That would mean that Mickey will be stuck with Ian. Forever.

Ian got up and dropped the ring in the toilet.

He looked at it for a couple more seconds before flushing it down.

He then got out of the house and walked to the Alibi to hang around until Mickey got off work.

~

“Hey. How much for a blowjob?”

“15 bucks a pop.” Mickey turned around to look at his prospective customer.

The guy got his wallet and handed a few bills over to Mickey.

“Follow me.” Mickey led him to the stairs leading up. “You just pick a girl and enjoy.”

Before they can even get to the first step, the man held Mickey by the shoulders and pinned him against the wall. “I meant, I wanted one from you.”

“What the fuck did you say to me?”

The man wedged his thigh against Mickey’s crotch.

Mickey had to work hard to stifle a moan. It’s been so fucking long since the last time anyone has paid his dick any attention. His brain wanted to push this man away but his body wants him to get down on his knees and suck this man off.

“I said, I want you to suck me off.”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Mickey was getting hard. But-

No. He couldn’t do this to Ian.

Mickey pushed the man off and punched him across the face. “Get your gay ass outta here. This ain’t fucking Boystown!” Mickey kicked the guys ass as he made his way out through the back door.

“Mick?”

Mickey turned around quickly. “Ian? Shit. The guy was trying to do shit and I… it wasn’t my fault man.”

“I know. I saw everything.”

“Oh.”

“I wouldn’t have minded though, Mick.”

“What?”

“You coulda done it with him. I would’ve let you.”

“Didn’t I tell you to shut up about that, Gallagher?”

“It just isn’t fair, Mick. You need things that I can’t give you.”

“I need you and everything else, I can live without.”

Ian huffed, sat on the barstool and stared intently at the bar table.

Suddenly, a ring got tossed onto the bar table right in front of Ian.

Ian stared at it for a couple seconds, shocked, before picking it up and turning to Mickey. “What the fuck is this?”

Mickey stared nervously back at Ian. That wasn’t the reaction he was hoping for. “It’s proof.”

“Proof of what?”

“That I’m not leaving you no matter what.”

“Mick…”

“You saying no, Gallagher?”

“No. I’m not saying no. I just… are you sure?”

Mickey let out a dry laugh. “You want me to get down on one fucking knee or some shit?”

“No. It’s just that, if I say yes, then that’s it. You can’t leave me anymore. No matter how much you want to.”

“Isn’t that the fucking point?”

“Mick.”

“Gallagher. I don’t fucking know what else I gotta say until you get it through your thick fucking skull that I ain’t planning on leaving your ass, ever. You’re the best god damn thing that’s ever happened in my life since my fucking mother. She’s gone now and I’ll die before you disappear from my life the way she did. I fucking love you Ian Gallagher and short of ripping my heart out of my chest and showing you how every second it beats for you, I’m all out of fucking ideas how to tell you that I love you so much that it physically hurts to leave you.”

 “Really Mickey? Every beat of your heart is for me?” Ian teased.

“Fuck you.”

Ian breathed deeply. “I still think you deserve better than me. But… yes. I love you too and I’m not going anywhere either.”

“Good.”

“Good.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you have an idea for a story, hit me up at http://www.ask.fm/babykpats


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